The title is from a song of the same name by a band called The New Trust. One of the bands I've enjoyed over the years. ANYWAY..
How long has it been since I've been here? Seems like forever. Probably is. I have this week off of work. Vacation time, oh yeah. It's wonderful so far. I slept in until 11am today just because I could, and because I wanted to. I know so many people in life that get bored or can't stand not going to work. I am not one of those people. I could do this every day.
I continue to not know what I want to do with life anymore. I'm right on the edge of being sucked back into a normal lifestyle and forgetting all about this traveling and living in a van or RV thing. Overall I've taken a bit of a step back from everything and I'm just seeing where things start to lean.
I cleaned out the van a few weeks ago. It was really messy. With it cleaned out and with taking the bed frame I built out of there also, I can start to see my old vision with it again. When I decided I wanted a twin size mattress in there it just took up too much space and snuffed out the entire vision. So I might go forward with more van work again. If nothing else it'd make a nice weekend getaway vehicle until something else happens and would possibly increase value or chances of selling it if I ever reach that point.
As for now, the van is about half full of JUNK. I magically, and suddenly, reached a decision to get at least one van full of stuff taken to the dump this week while I have the time off. Not only that, but I'm in an 'act now, think later' mindset about all of my STUFF. I've been paying for this huge storage unit for 2 and a half years now and I doubt any of what's in there is actually worth the money I've paid over that amount of time. Even with that knowledge, I don't expect to get rid of everything.
I don't like going through my stuff. Especially the stuff that is left over from when I had my own house. Memories. And to be honest if I had the money for another place of my own, I'd probably do it. I like having a home base, and it doesn't mean I can't still travel. Anyway, it just makes me sad and makes me deal with emotions I like to ignore.
Today I also gave away 8 chairs. 2 computer chairs, 2 beach chairs, and 4 rolling dining chairs. For free, on craigslist. There will probably be more of this to come, and I'm also making a pile to give to Goodwill. Kind of depends on what my thoughts are on the item about whether or not it goes to craigslist or goodwill. I might try to sell some stuff too, I don't know. My ultimate goal is fast and easy. The chairs took up a lot of space in storage and now I'll actually have room to move around and sort through all the other stuff.
I wanted to get something fun done this week during my time off from work, but it's looking like I'll just be hanging around home, trying to get things cleaned and organized. I'll probably feel a lot better about that in the long run than I will if I had gone somewhere fun.
Don't get me wrong, I already drove up north a ways and hiked a nice trail and had some close encounters with wildlife and whatnot.
I've also decided I have analysis paralysis with practically every aspect of my life. Really I just learned I could put a name to it. Haha. I think everything out and all of my choices until I overwhelm myself and in the end just don't do anything. I'm working on that.
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